So I'm TWISTED..So what!!!????

LOVE hurts and it sucks big time!!!!
why do i even bother??!!!

loving them and then what did you get back??!! Just a lot of unneccessary hurts....
pain that u wont even hv to feel if u did'nt let yourself be open to it in the 1st place...sumthing that they want from u...

Unconditional love....yeah, right!!!! Truth is....there's always sumthing else...

accepting u as u are....HAH!!!and even bigger lie....if that is so than y do u hv to change urselves just to get them to love u in the 1st place...y r there dissappointment in their eyes when u failed to raise up to their expectations...y are there even expectations in the 1st place....

Got beaten up is painful??!!! WRONG!!!! Wanna know what is more painful???their uncaring words...it slices up ur heart and takes 4ever to heal....a bleeding that u cant ever stop....wounds that keeps opening even when u tried soo hard to keep it closed...

Love requires sacrifices...STUPID!!!!! sacrifices that goes unnoticed....sacrifices that they wont even appreciate...leaving u feeling useless....Only repaid by accusations of a selfishness that u kept aside for them....Human are ungrateful beings....Sacrifices are for idiots!!!!!

And I am the stupidest of them all.....for opening myself up...giving them my heart...and trust...letting myself be hurt...over and over again...for people who are too blind to see...Im pathetic....for still being a romantic...still wanting to be accepted....to be loved....If that is love....is it really worth it???Years of educating myself....to built a mask of uncaring...of solitary...of independence....seems not enough anymore.....for with years...it seems like their poison has only become more potent.....that even a small scratch....could make my heart bleeds profusely....and destroy the very things that ive tried so hard to built....

we will not go down

I am not much of an activist now....i guess i stopped being so from a few years back when my enthusiasm for a lot of things got trampled by the movement of time and the changes that are not from choices that i made willingly...but reading the news and looking at the pictures of the people in Gaza....a part of my activist soul light up again....



It is sad...NO~!!its painful to look at those pictures...to read them....but what they really felt is a THOUSAND times worse than those fleeting feeling that i have.....Their tears...their cries....it makes me wish that i could offer more help for them...not just materially...or support...although that i gladly gave....but i'd like to give sum help for them....hearing that AMAN Palestin is gathering doctors to help the Palestinian, made me wish that i took medicine a long time ago....Reading about the legal fights that they have for a ceasefire made me wished that i didnt give up law for education....Ive never been much for those demonstration unless it could bring direct results....as i think that it is only pointless....if one want to do it, why not having evry1 all over the world having them at the same time in front of evry embassies...or better yet, in front of the white house itself..Even with the whole boycotting stuff i could not fully agree upon..it does not gives us with the desired reaction from those really, truly evil people...Heck!!we wont even shake a bit of their economies but bring a lot more harm to ours...But that, is the only thing that i could do rite now....other than praying....and donating....

Either way....it is always a case of easier said than done...i say this now....but what will i do if i were truly given the chance???will i go 4 it??or will my cowardice stands out and win...How i wish i am brave and righteous....where evrything in life should and has to be just...but i am not....and life....is rarely just and hardly ever are fair...

This is a song that was written by Michael Heart...that tells about the war at GAZA and the spirits of the people of PALESTINES to fight the cursed ISRAELIS...It is dedicated to them and to raise awareness and our spirits as a Muslim to support and give help....The song is based on the truth...the truth of what is happening rite now...and describe about the catalysts..the supposed leaders who suppossedly wanted to help but ac2lly was the wolf dressed in sheep's clothing (i think!pardon my mistakes people..) The circumstances of war...the cruelty...the people killed without mercy....the women and childrens...the babies....Losses that can never be replaced...Even with another life....Just listening to the song could make me weep....how the innocents suffer for others greed.....And it seems to me that we humans never learn...

WE WILL NOT GO DOWN (Song for Gaza)
(Composed by Michael Heart)
Copyright 2009


A blinding flash of white light
Lit up the sky over Gaza tonight
People running for cover
Not knowing whether they’re dead or alive

They came with their tanks and their planes
With ravaging fiery flames
And nothing remains
Just a voice rising up in the smoky haze

We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
You can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight

Women and children alike
Murdered and massacred night after night
While the so-called leaders of countries afar
Debated on who’s wrong or right

But their powerless words were in vain
And the bombs fell down like acid rain
But through the tears and the blood and the pain
You can still hear that voice through the smoky haze

We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
You can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight

The song MP3 is available for download at:

http://michaelheart.com/Song_for_Gaza...

Btolnye la.....

Hohoho...bende ni sebenarnye dah lebih sminggu terjd tp baru la ni aku terase nak merepot....itulah aku...ikut suke ati je nak buatr bende...slagi xpenting la...hehehhe...

Aku membaca semula post2 lame aku tue...bacela blk part y mane aku menjahanamkan kete peugeot mak aku tue....nak di jadikan cerita....aku telah meminjam pulak kete proton bapak aku untuk merayau2 pada suatu sab2 y lalu....memula tue aku nak cilok Peugeot sbb peugeot tue auto...walaupon die bapak besar dan lebar tp die tidak memenatkan kaki dan tgn aku dan juga tidak berkemungkinan untuk memalukan aku dgn mati di tgh2 traffic light...Sekali time2 tue la air-cond die nak rosak...nasibla aku pi rujuk kat bapak aku dl...kalo x takut je cite lain pulak kat tgh jln nnt...so, bpk aku pon suruhla bwk Proton...

Bkn aku xleh bwk manual...boleh...tp xla selancar bawak auto....kemungkinan nak termati tue aderla lg....lg satu...aku nie ckp2 la mls nak pi tuka2 gear seblom memberhentikan kete nie....tgh bwk 4 pastu nakkk kene tuka 1-1 spi gear 2....Tp nak wat camne...aku dah tingin sgt nak bwk kete....amik jela....aku agak terpegun gakla dgn keyakinan bapak aku untuk melepaskan kete proton die tue ke tgn aku nie....yela...sejak kes Peugeot tue kan....

Co-Pilot aku hr tue adelah Husna....hahahhaah...nsbla die ni kire pemandu y lbih berpengalamanla berbanding aku....aku dpt byk gakla reminder2 drpd die...hehehheh....dan alhamdulillah....kitorg slamat gak spi ke IPIS walaupon ader gakla termati kete tue skali...bkn psl ape pon....aku mls nak tarik handbrake tp pas2 lupe plak nak tuka Gear 1....maka termati la die....nsb baek xbyk kete...hohohoh....Husna pon watla muka redha je....heheheheh....
Nsb baek gakla dat week xrmi lg org y bwk kete...KPLI xderla katekan....so blehla aku parking dgn sesuka hatinye....kalo byk kete mase tue mau aku turun tuka seat ngan usna...hahahhaha.....

Mlm tue kitorg pi mkn kat luar dan round2 la pi Putrajaya....hoohohoho....tuela 1st time aku drive mlm sbnrnye...dgn kete manual...kire practise a nie...pi mkn kat CHAIYO! pastu singgah KAMDAR Putrajaya utk skodeng blazer...Sasman dah suruh bli...nak xnak kene la aku skodeng gak hargenye...bli xbli tue xtaula lg...rasenye nnt aku pinjam membe mak aku punye je kot...bkn kene pasti beli pon kan....
Setelah itu, kitorg merayau2la pusing2 Putrajaya....disebabkan kegelapan mlm tue aku asyik jela termiss gear aku tue...org x baserla katekan...slalu bleh skodeng2 ngan ejor mate...dah malam tue gelap gle,kan...terpaksela gune instict aku yg xbrp bleh nak percaye nie....
Xlame pon kitorg mrayau...ckpla skali pusing kat Putrajaya tue...pas2 kitorg pon balik.....

Esok tue plak, pi la anta balik kete tue...Kali nie co-pilot aku adelah Odette...Ntahla...xtaula nak kate...Pg tue aku mmg agak gugup skit nak bwk...Mmg ade la perasan nak terkena sesuatu tue kan...skali...mmg betol...aku tersagat lak tayar depan kete tue kat Round-about Bangi tue...
hahahahahhaha....Camne leh kene pon aku xtau....slalu ok je aku jln kat c2...dan rumate aku pon mengucap panjang....heheheheheh....

Spi umah, aku tros wat confession...kenela weh..kang kalo bpk aku npk sindri kang mmg lg terukla aku...nsb bek a x teruk sgt...kene dienye rim je a....tayar xde ape....bg aku mmg x teruk a....tp bile bpk aku tgk je mase nak anta aku ngan odet balik tue, terus cancel nak bg aku bwk blk....Terus bapak aku kua ayat.....

"Bg kete kebal pon kemek, kete proton pon kemek jgak....Bwk kete sorong jela lenkali..."

hahahaha...sunggoh pandai bapak aku wat lawak.....Ape bleh aku wat..terima jela....nsb bekla xkene sembur api...ckp baik a tue..(psl ader odette kot...xkan bpk aku nak mrh aku kaw2 dpan membe aku,kan...) terpakse la aku trime....

Jdk skang ni...aku dah xsabo2 menunggu peluang untuk bawak kete y seterusnye....haisy...kalo terus camni, apela rupe kete mak bpk aku tue nnt....xsbrnye aku nak ade kete sindri....

Sharing sumthing bout Rob Pattinson~

ok...i found this at mtv movie blog...while i was feeding my addiction to TWILIGHT...hahahahaha....
its a vid of an interview by 1 of the mtv's intern~...
He is SOOO bad...such a tease....but d part where the interviewer suddenly asked him what his fave colour is...heheheh...i was all like"GOTCHA!!!"....heheheh...
well...hope ull enjoy it as much as i did... ^^

MTV Shows

Always be my baby~...*sigh*

David Cook
Always Be My Baby lyrics

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be a part of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Always be my baby

My new favourite song...well...one of them...since i usually hv a lot at one time anyway....
I really like this song...seriously, David Cook's voice is just sooo....wellll.....i cant seem to find d words 4 it...i definitely wont mind it if he'd lulled me to sleep every nite...could get addicted to it even...*sigh*
its a really different version of Mariah Carey's....I think u guys would really enjoyed it...especially the girls...hahahhaha......He's got the voice, the style and the face...what is not to like... xp

if ur interested...here's a link: http://www.savefile.com/files/1509160

kmlasan mula melanda..& 2009...

ye...aku dah lame x mengpost blog br.....bkn xde sbnrnye...ader...tp sumenyer xlengkap....
cane kate ek....sbbnye adalah...mase mule menaip tue mmg tgh 'feel'...tp sekejap je...pas2 ttb feel tue ilang....aisy~....mmg xde lasting power tol aku nie....hahahahha...
anyway...aku menyimpulkan tahun baru 2009 nie sbg permulaan yang x brp nak baik...mayb bkn takat aku je...utk seluruh dunia....I mean...finding out bout people out there who is suffering from war....surounded by death at all times...is not sumthing that i could celebrate on for new year...the irony of it is...here we are...living soo peacefully in M'sia....celebrating it with fireworks and Sex Orgies.....there are people who is losing their family, their children that day...and our youngsters are probably making babies that they dont even want and will probably throw away in nine months time... The New Year Babies certain tabloids tag them as.......says much about us, dont u think so....makes me wonder who deserves to b shot 1st...the israelis or these people...(if this is lost to u..im ac2lly trying to be sarcastic...)
Dan...di saat aku mule membiasakan diri dengan semester baru nie....n i was ac2lly looking 4ward to do a crtain presentation...our 1st 1 4 d subject....aku bangun dan mendapati aku kehilangan suara aku....huhuhuuhuhuh...
Yup, fellow friends....i am now without a voice....its funny if its not so inconvenient.....but, it'll pass...& beware classmates...owhh~~,..buli aku time aku xde suara yerk....nntla.... xp

CRASHED!!!!!!!

Huhuhuhuhuhu~....
This seriously sucks......I managed to dent my mom's car and my dad went ballistic!!!!!
I did't get it while i was driving, ok...I was trying to park the car at d unikeb's parking lot and it was a very busy day...the place is full...It was a small dent but noticeable..(duh!)...
It wont be such a big deal i suppose if it were a local car like proton or a kancil...as it is...it was our old Peugeot......
Well...my friend said it was ac2lly a normal thing for beginners....hey!she got into 3 accidents when just after she got her licenses...Lucky her that her parents didnt make such a big fuss about it...
Since my dad went ballistic i wonder when i'll hv confidence enough to take on driving again...
yes...i hv a chronic self-esteem problem and his reaction just kinda blew me....I might just wait until i hv my own car b4 i started driving again.... *sigh*....who knows....